Dating While Married

Remember those great dates at the beginning of your relationship? Conversation flowed so nicely. Lots of romance and love making! Everything just came together beautifully – almost effortless. It was just so easy. Then, over time things began to change. Why? Probably because you began to get comfortable and take one another for granted. Once you add children into the mix further changes often start to happen. You become parents and, inadvertently, stop being lovers. The sense of couple-hood begins to slowly fade away.

I often get asked by couples what are the key ingredients to keep their love vibrant and growing.   The simple answer is: Never stop dating!   What are some “dating” kinds of behavior that will help keep your relationship alive?   Let’s review a few…

Tip #1: Flirting

Dating is more than just the act of going out on a date. Dating is a “way of being” when you are spending time with your loved one. Flirting is definitely a part of this equation. Sometimes flirting is confused with “groping” your love one. Flirting is really more subtle but can also be physical in a sexy kind of way.

A peck on the neck, a sexy role of the eyes or licking your lips all qualify as “flirting behavior.” Remember, flirting is “setting the table” for intimacy as well as creating a close connection between you and your loved one. The key is to have fun with it and show respect to your loved one.

Tip #2: Surprises

One of the fun things about dating is the unknown. Surprises are a big part of dating. Unfortunately, in long-term relationships, sometimes monotony sets in. A boring relationship is a recipe for big time problems.   You can surprise your loved one with a new, sexy piece of clothing (lingerie or sexy boxers). A yummy dessert that you intimately share together can do wonders for your connection.

A sweet, tasty lotion you pour on one another can also be quite lovely. The list goes on and on. The key is to be open-minded and remember that there is always room for something new and exciting in your relationship.

Tip #3: Spontaneity

Adding spontaneity to your relationship can help spice things up! How often do you allow your emotions and connection to flow into how you make choices when you are together? This can be quite a game changer! If you want to keep dating experience alive make sure you are open to living in the moment and what may happen next. Thinking too far down the road can be stifling to a relationship. One moment you may be eating a meal and the next moment you may be making love on the table.  

Being willing to be spontaneous will keep excitement in the air. When was the last time you enjoyed a hot make-out session in the theatre? Living a little on the edge can keep your connection alive. Keeping the “juices flowing” can make a huge difference and keep your love strong! So, you ready to take the plunge?

If you feel like you tried “everything” to get your relationship on the right path and have found little success, you may want to learn more about our Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy services. We are here to help!